Cast Your Vote for the 2024 Disasterclass of the Year! eScored’s Alternative Awards

Welcome to the exhilarating arena of eScored’s Alternative Awards 2024 – where your voice matters, and the stage is set for you to cast your votes. In this category, we delve into perhaps your least favorite moments of the year…

Every December, we at eScored magazine celebrate and scrutinize the best and worst of the past 12 months, and it’s only right that we extend this fiery debate into the online realm. Our intrepid team has compiled nominations for the most underwhelming displays over the last year, be it from players, managers, or anyone else who has graced the beautiful game – and with no limitations on who or how many nominations a party can receive!

So, who will capture your votes this time around?

Cristiano Ronaldo vs Slovenia at Euro 2024: nominated by Adam Monk, presenter/producer (@_adammonk)

In a tournament heralded as the stage for one of football’s true greats to exit with the grace of Michael Jordan, the Round of 16 clash against Slovenia became an excruciating spectacle for Cristiano Ronaldo. After 120 minutes of play, with a stat line that might make one cringe—0 goals, 8 shots, 1 missed penalty, 1 shot ricocheted off the woodwork, and 2 sky-high free kicks—this was possibly the first instance where we witnessed the Portuguese maestro wish for the pitch to swallow him whole. It was a stark realization that his overwhelming pride had perhaps led him into a career twilight longer than it should have been.

David Coote: nominated by Matthew Ketchell, deputy editor (@Ketchell)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. eScored’s Adam Clery aptly predicted: ”celebrity Big Brother awaits.” But let’s not overlook the PSR rules that have thrust clubs like Aston Villa and Newcastle United, who have genuinely earned their place in the Champions League, into the position of selling some of their most prized, young, homegrown talents rather than investing in their squads. These rules certainly deserve a robust dismissal.

Inverness Caledonian Thistle: nominated by Chris Flanagan, senior staff writer (@CFlanaganFFT)

In a year that witnessed RB Leipzig’s shocking sweep of zero wins in the Champions League, Hull City’s baffling sacking of Liam Rosenior after a solid seventh-place finish, and Erik ten Hag’s self-inflicted chaos at Manchester United, no narrative flounders quite like that of Inverness Caledonian Thistle. Their descent into the Scottish third tier for the first time in 25 years and the reality of Duncan Ferguson suffering yet another relegation echoes the turmoil. Add to that their audacious yet ill-fated attempt to relocate their training base 136 miles south to Fife, only to be met with a chorus of discontent from passionate fans (Super Caley Fans Ballistic, This Idea’s Atrocious), followed by administration woes leading to a crippling 15-point deduction that now threatens them with extinction. It was a year bereft of joy at Inverness.

Only a similar points deduction for Dumbarton offers a glimmer of hope. Overall, it has been a catastrophic year.

England: nominated by James Andrew, editor (@JamesAndrew_)

Once again, Gareth Southgate has floundered in his quest to harness the talents of a generation, steering England into the final of Euro 2024 only to come unstuck against Spain. With the footballing landscape shaped by the inexplicable failures of several heavyweights, England’s golden opportunity slipped away, leaving fans to wonder if they will ever taste the sweet nectar of success again, like they did in 1966.

The club’s renaissance since its reformation in 2018 saw it seize its first major trophy in 2024 with the FA Cup. However, a glaring focus on the men’s side has driven pivotal figures like captain Katie Zelem to depart, expressing her discontent with the club’s priorities under the new ownership of INEOS. A timely shift in focus toward the women’s team is desperately needed to align with the values of the players, staff, and the fervent supporters behind them.

Harry Clarke: nominated by Ben Marsden, writer (@BenMarsden03)

Picture the electric anticipation of making your Premier League debut—an adrenaline-fueled dream for any player—only to find yourself walking off the pitch after 70 minutes of disaster: a red card, a conceded penalty, and an own goal. This was the unfortunate reality for Harry Clarke as he endured an abject introduction to top-flight football during Ipswich Town’s dramatic 4-3 loss to Brentford. Fans across the nation offered their sympathy as they witnessed a player, still learning the ropes, navigate the unthinkable. Since that harrowing day, Clarke has made strides, showing resilience and improved performances.

Deutsche Bahn: nominated by Ed McCambridge, staff writer (@edmccambridge)

In what should have been a stellar Euro 2024, Germany’s national rail service became an emblem of disarray. With delays, cancellations, understaffing, and inflated ticket prices, navigations around the country morphed into a frustrating headache. The hallowed reputation of German efficiency was swiftly tarnished in 2024, leaving travelers fuming.

Real Madrid: nominated by Mark White, online content editor (@markwhlte)

In a misguided statement of solidarity, the European champions opted to boycott the Ballon d’Or after neither Vinicius Jr nor Dani Carvajal clinched an award. However, this decision backfired spectacularly, making Real Madrid look more like a feeble soap opera than a titan of the sport. The Ballon d’Or, often criticized as a popularity contest, should either be dismissed as inconsequential or treated with the due respect it deserves. Canceling flights on the day of the event and pushing players to post statements of support only drew attention to their own shortcomings—especially following a humiliating 4-0 defeat to their rivals, where their marquee signing found himself caught offside more times than not. This was a PR debacle for a club that prides itself on professionalism.

Ryan Dabbs: nominated by Ryan Dabbs, senior writer online (@ryandabbs_)

I may have suggested that Arne Slot wouldn’t see the season out, a prediction that now seems laughable as the Dutchman has Liverpool soaring atop the Premier League, smashing it in the Champions League, and cruising into the quarter-finals of the League Cup. At this point, one could argue my prediction needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror—chasing a sack for failure might be a bit rich.